The Vow (2012)

How do you look at the woman you love, and tell yourself that it’s time to walk away?

            I just sat through an almost two hour chick flick. I do know why I put myself through this but that will be revealed in a bit. The last good chick flick I remember really liking and still like today despite its silly story is 27 Dresses (and if you hate this movie we cannot be friends. Sorry). I will be the first to admit I am not a sappy romantic girl. I like to be thought of as a cold hearted bitch when it comes to love. I am sure it is down to the fact that I have never really been in love and that I do not know what it means to truly love someone. I do understand the emotion of love and would not mind experiencing that emotion someday. I just really do not have the patience for anyone else but me at the moment. I am not a typical girl who dreams about having the perfect life. Honestly what I dream about at the moment is finishing grad school, getting a real job, moving out on my own, and marathoning the shit out TV shows and also being utterly devoted to this blog again (screw you grad school for sucking up my time!!).

            With movies I like stories, I like the unexpected. I do not like the typical. Chick flicks are all the same to me: guy and girl meet each other by chance, they fall in love, something bad happens, they have to repair their relationship despite all the obstacles thrown at them, and they fall happily in love all over again. Oh and their friends or family are always there for them as sound boards and for encouragement and support. What a boring story and incredibly boring one-dimensional characters. But there is a quote and unfortunately for the life of me I cannot remember who said it but it goes like this “All good stories are love stories.” Yeah, if they are Gone With the Wind or Casablanca. Classic movies could get away with romantic schmaltz and sometimes even they twist my insides with agony a bit. It kills me that typical chick flicks like The Vow are still so popular today. I understand most audiences want mind numbing, don’t-have-to-think movies they just want to be entertained. Sometimes I want to watch mind numbing, don’t-have-to-think movies or shows. One of my favorite TV shows is Bob’s Burgers for crying out loud! 

            Maybe I do not like chick flicks because I am cynical and stubborn and give up to easily. Although, I always rooted for the guy and girl to overcome their differences and get back together. I guess maybe I can be a little romantic and like typical endings…. NOOOOO!!!!

            Anyway, enough of my ranting about chick flicks and my awful views on love.

            The Vow is about Leo (Channing Tatum) and Paige Collins (Rachel McAdams). They were very happily married and in love with each other until they were in a car accident. Leo had the car parked. He was still in his seatbelt but Paige was not. A truck hit them from behind and Paige went through the windshield. She suffered a severe brain injury where she does not remember her life before the crash. She does not remember Leo at all. Her parents who she has not seen in years come to the hospital after finding out about their daughter weeks later. They are happy they have their “old” Paige back the one who was going to law school not the one who up and left and went to art school.

            Leo does everything he can to get Paige back into his life. He tries despite all obstacles thrown at him.

            Now I know you know the ending and do not need me to tell you. Well I will tell you that Paige never does regain her memory of being married to Leo.

            The acting was not too bad. I think Rachel McAdams is so talented and I feel terrible that she is so type casted in these chick flick roles now. Channing Tatum to me is a just a piece of hot flesh to fill up the screen and look pretty. 

            Alright so here is the reveal as to why I watched the movie: Tatiana Maslany. Not ashamed to say she is my current girl crush. When I was looking up her other work besides Orphan Black I saw that she was in The Vow. I was watching an episode of Orphan Black at my uncle’s house. It was a scene in the show where she was playing Rachel Duncan who is as far removed from looking like Maslany does in the movie. My cousin said to me “that girl looks familiar”. My cousin is one of those people that reads Nicholas Sparks books and all she has in her small movie collection is chick flicks. I knew right away that she had seen The Vow. After that there was no way I could have my cousin see a Tatiana Maslany movie that I have not seen! Seriously, Maslany is such an amazing actress that I will watch anything she is in as evidenced by my sitting through this stinker. She played Lily who was Leo’s soundboard and voice of encouragement. She showed more emotion than McAdams and Tatum combined in her few scenes. She was fantastic in two scenes: the first was when Lily and Leo are sitting outside drinking coffee and trying to figure out ways to make Paige remember him. He mentioned she liked to be tickled to help her relax. Maslany’s face of judgment was very funny. The next was when Leo is at the end of his ropes and realizes there may not be hope for them after all. The girl was brilliant. You can tell on her face that Lily was truly sad for her friend and cared for him. It is incredible to think that she was in a movie like this (by "this" I mean a mainstream Hollywood movie. She was in mostly independents up to this point) where she was just a second string character used only as a soundboard and no one knew who she was at all. Now she is all over the place with Orphan Black and it was considered (still is considered) an outrage she was not nominated for an Emmy. Maslany got the part of the clones a year after this movie. (if you have not watched Orphan Black stop reading this right now, stop watching any other series you may be into at the moment and watch the damn show! Tatiana Maslany does in twenty episodes with all the different characters she plays what has taken Meryl Streep forty years to accomplish with playing so many different types of characters).

Maslany as Rachel Duncan on Orphan Black

            Watching The Vow was like having my teeth pulled except it was not over fast and I did not have any medication for the pain of its bad acting and crappy story. There were some points that I liked. I liked how the guy never gave up even when he felt he had to. He never lost his faith he would be back with the true love of his life. Agh, there I go again talking like a romantic girl! And I also liked their studio apartment or whatever it was they lived in. I got really excited over seeing art books and the awesome shelving they had. Honestly unless you are a diehard Tatiana Maslany fan and are trying to get through the incredibly hard and emotionally draining Orphan Black hiatus do not even brother sitting through The Vow (or unless you really really like romantic movies). Oh, the movies I will watch just to see my favorite actors/actresses in!