The Bling Ring (2013)

“It goes to show America has a sick fascination with the whole Bonnie and Clyde thing.”

            Everyone has an idea what they would buy if they were a filthy rich celebrity. My goodness, my list is a mile long! I would want a sports car (I drive like an asshole to begin with), to live in a gorgeous house somewhere either in London or California or New Jersey (lay off NJ is where I am from. And no I would not live near the shore I already live near it and it is not all it is cracked up to be), Chanel whatever I can lay my hands on and other designer clothes, perfume, and jewelry (again, lay off, I am a girl after all), an apartment near the Metropolitan Museum of Art (so I can go there whenever I want) I would collect prints by my favorite photographers, whatever photo camera I wanted, all the movies on DVD and Blu Rays and books I can possibly imagine, and the number one things  on my list are an incredible library and an insane movie theater. My house/apartment would not be outrageously gaudy or extravagant I am simple and I appreciate art and design. It would be modern but comfortable and homey.  

            But since most you reading this blog are not filthy stinking rich have you ever thought what it would be like going into a celebrity’s home and what kinds of insanely expensive things they would have inside? If you were to somehow get inside a celebrity’s home would you still things if they were not around? In The Bling Ring a group of friends goes around to the homes of celebrities when they are not home and steal whatever they see and their hearts desire.

            Marc Hill starts a new school in Calabasas, California. The school is for kids who could not cut it in a normal high school. For example Marc skipped too many days of school. He meets a girl named Rebecca and she immediately takes to him. Rebecca has Marc meet her friends Chloe, Nicki (Emma Watson), and Sam. All of them have high tastes and constantly wonder what it would be like to be a celebrity with a lot of money even though most of them come from money. Rebecca is obsessed with Lindsay Lohan and out of all of the friends she desperately wants the celebrity lifestyle.

            One day while reading some Hollywood news website Rebecca and Marc read about Paris Hilton hosting a party outside of California. This gives Rebecca the idea to have Marc look up Hilton’s address and to go rob her house. That night the two go to Hilton’s house and find a key underneath the outdoor mat.

            This one break-in leads to several more at Hilton’s house alone as well as other celebrities’ houses. The other break-ins include Nicki, Chloe, and Sam. They find money and jewels and clothes. With the money they go out to clubs around the city and spend whatever they want.

            Eventually all of them are caught. Nicki, Chloe and Sam were only seen on one surveillance camera while Marc and Rebecca were caught on multiple cameras. The first three are only given a year in jail and a three hundred thousand dollar fine. Marc and Rebecca are given four years and an eight hundred thousand dollar fine.

            The cast was good but I felt they were all wasted in their roles. Emma Watson completely stole the movie (no pun intended I swear). She was brilliant. She looked fantastic too. I was impressed with how well she put on the California accent and hid her British accent. Leslie Mann played her mother in a few scenes. You want to talk about an actress whose talents were totally wasted in a film then talk about Leslie Mann in this movie.

            This is the first time I have seen a Sofia Coppola movie. Her direction was not too bad and so was her writing. I found her direction dull. Coppola lingered too long with some of the scenes and I hate it when directors do that. The scenes she lingered on were not good to begin with. The other scenes were good I liked Coppola’s direction in them.

            The Bling Ring was a film I had wanted to see for a while and, to tell the truth, it was only to see Emma Watson. Watson did not disappoint as I said she was fantastic. The story was a bit frustrating and that is because I cannot believe how dumb it made some celebrities look. How damn stupid are you if you have a house worth millions and items that added all together are probably worth more than the house to leave a key under the mat?! Sure they all had a security system in place but no alarms? Some celebrities are stupid to begin with and this just made some of them look even worse and they get no sympathy from me whatsoever for what happened to them. The characters were rich annoying troubled people who just did what they did for a rush because they were bored and were obsessed with the fake celebrity lifestyle.  

            The Bling Ring is worth seeing at least once just for Emma Watson. Just do not have any expectations going into it.

            I shall leave off with a question to you: How would you want to become filthy stinking rich?