Thor: The Dark World (2013)

“Some believe that before the universe, there was nothing. They're wrong. There was darkness... and it has survived.”

            Thor: The Dark World takes place two years after Thor (Chris Hemsworth) first came to earth. He wants to return to earth but after the events of the first Thor movie and The Avengers his father Odin (Anthony Hopkins) refuses to let him go. So in the mean time Thor has been fighting off enemies and trying to bring peace to the nine realms of his world. He has had a guy named Heimdall (Idris Elba) looking out for his earthly lady love Jane Foster (Natalie Portman). One day Heimdall cannot see Jane and Thor rushes down to earth.

            Jane and her trusty sidekick intern Darcy Lewis (Kat Dennings) track down a wormhole like the one Thor came through in the first movie. Jane gets sucked into the wormhole to another dimension/realm/world… whatever you wanna call it. Wherever she goes she is brought near this big rock type thing that is filled with this red stuff called Aether… let me explain what this Aether gunk is…

            Thousands of years ago the Asgardians fought off these people called The Dark Elves (yep I said The Dark Elves). The leader of the elves Malekith and his second in command Algrim escape to await their chance to come and fight off the Asgardians.

            Back to Jane… Jane was gone for five hours. When she comes back Thor appears. Jane is happy to see him but also not since he was away for so long. And he also destroyed a portion of NYC with the Avengers. The police arrived to try to help look for Jane. When they go to touch her the Aether that she was smothered in sends out this wave of energy that knocks everyone down. Thor takes her back to Asgard to be cured of whatever the Aether stuff is.

            *Skipping over a lot of stuff*… the Dark Elves comes back and destroy Asgard. Through the wormhole in time they plan on going down to earth and using the Aether as their weapon. Naturally Thor and Jane and even Loki (Tom Hiddleston) all have a hand in bringing down the Dark Elves.

            The cast was great except for Natalie Portman. Ok before I get shit thrown at me, Natalie Portman is a good actress and she was very good in this Thor but I feel she just is not right for the part. She is not convincing as a scientist and as someone in love with Thor. DO NOT for one second think I am saying Portman is not convincing as a scientist because she is pretty that is not at all what I am saying in the slightest. There was just something about her that did not convince me she was a character rather than just an actress playing the character of a scientist. Jane and Thor’s relationship is not convincing either. To me they have as much chemistry as two poles. It could just be me and how I am sick and tired of romantic love interests in certain movies. I a shipper hardcore of certain love interests in movies and TV shows but I am finding I would rather see a man and a woman work together as partners to get shit done without the romantic entanglements… wow that turned into a rant, I apologize. Kat Dennings once again steals the movie in what limited screen time she is given. She saves the movies for me. Tom Hiddleston is just a hot sarcastic piece of ass as Loki. Loki also saves the movies for me too because he is a hot sarcastic piece of ass. Good lord, I am such a damn girl I cannot handle myself. Once again, I apologize.

            Unfortunately Thor: The Dark World not hold my interest at all. I feel really bad for some reason but the stories of the movies have not held my interest. The stories I found a bit dull in both movies and the characters are just not convincing to me, well I will say except for Loki, Tom Hiddleston just nails playing a villain. Thor: The Dark World, like Iron Man and some of the other Marvel movies are worth seeing because they are awesomely made and written (except for the characters in Thor). 

Thor (2011)

“You can't kill an entire race!”

“Why not?... And what is this new found love for the Frost Giants? You, could have killed them all with your bare hands!”

“I've changed.”

Thor is yet another Marvel superhero story where a vain, greedy man is shown the error of his ways once something happens to him after he had done a not so good thing. This time instead of a rich billionaire like in Iron Man it is literally a mythological god who is sent down to earth.

            Several centuries ago there was a war between some mythological figures the Asgardians and some kind of ice people. The ice people were defeated and all the realms lived in peace. The leader of Asgard is a king named Odin (Anthony Hopkins). He has two sons Thor (Chris Hemsworth) and Loki (Tom Hiddleston). Thor is the oldest and set to become the next king of Asgard should anything happen to Odin. He is eager to go to war with any realm who wants to start one.

            Somehow during a ceremony the ice people manage to break into the castle at Asgard. Thor gathers Loki and a few of their friends to go to the realm of the ice people and start shit. Well, they start a pile of shit that gets so huge that Odin comes and gets super pissed at his son because now peace with the ice people has just ceased. Odin banishes Thor to the realm of earth without his powers and the ability to pick up his mighty hammer unless someone becomes worthy of it like Thor once was.

            Thor comes crashing down on a site that is being monitored by scientists Jane Foster (Natalie Portman) and Erik Selvig (Stellan Skargard) and student helper Darcy Lewis (Kat Dennings). Jane unavoidably hits Thor with her car and they take him to the hospital. In photographs they took of the lightening strike that came before they crashed into Thor they see the outline of his body on the lightening. They rush to the hospital only to hit Thor yet again with the car after he escaped from the doctors and nurses.

            Back in Asgard Loki learns some things about himself that do not please him at all. He becomes vengeful and evil. He wants Odin to die so he can be king and seek his revenge. He also wants to find Thor and kill him. Loki has always been jealous of Thor as the older brother who got whatever he wanted.

            On earth Jane and Thor begin to fall in love (what a damn bore). Jane is willing to risk her reputation and her life to help Thor to retrieve his hammer. The only issue is his hammer has been sealed up by S.H.I.E.L.D who want to study it. He breaks into the facility but he is still not worthy of the hammer after what he did to the ice people.

            To make a long story short: Loki comes to earth looking for Thor, Thor fights Loki and he once again becomes worthy of his hammer, the brothers fight and it looks like Loki has died, Thor is upset and brooding because he has come to like earth and he cannot see Jane again.

            .The cast was great Marvel is amazing when it comes to casting even their most secondary of characters. I loved seeing Kat Dennings she cracks me up so much no matter what she does or says. She brought great comedy to the movie right from the beginning. Darcy said what every woman who watches this movie is thinking when it comes to Thor/Chris Hemsworth. Tom Hiddleston was brilliant. I have seen The Avengers more times than I can count so it was finally nice to see what crept up Loki’s ass to make him so vengeful and evil. I have a harder crush/love for Loki than I do for Thor and that is down to Hiddleston I think he is such a brilliant actor. I felt the character of Jane was not very well written or acted. She just felt flat either due to the writing or Natalie Portman’s acting. I have to mention Josh Dallas, Prince Charming from the TV show Once Upon a Time, played one of Thor’s buddies. I was dying because he had blond hair and an awful mustache and I just kept thinking of him as Prince Charming.

  My family has raved about Thor since it came out. They constantly rave about how much they love Thor. It has taken me four years to finally sit down and watch it. The story of a spoiled man-child reminded me of Tony Stark. With Tony Stark something happened to him that made him turn his life around. Same with Thor, he got kicked out of his home realm and he realized what a dick he was and he changed. That kind of story drives me a little nuts. But as a whole Thor was a goodAs with most of the Marvel movies I have watched so far Thor is worth seeing as a part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. And of course I would not be a woman if I did not mention that Thor is worth seeing for a shirtless Chris Hemsworth… shallow I know but deal with it.

 

Defendor (2009)

“Who writes your dialogue? Superman?”

“No. I write it myself.”

“You know what? You need a good ghost writer. Somebody with talent.”

“No. You need a ghost writer. 'Cause that's what you're going to be after I pulverize you.”

            There is not one person in this world who would not love to be a super hero. I am making this assumption because I am sure it is true and what kid or, hell, even an adult for that matter, does not want to be a super hero. I would love to kick ass like Wonder Woman or Black Widow. I also would love to fly like Superman and have his awesome strength. Then there is Kick Ass where the characters actually do become superheroes but they do not really have superpowers they are just kids with a lot of cool gadgets. There is one superhero movie I am sure (there I go again making assumptions but trust me I am most likely correct on this point) not many people have ever heard of called Defendor. This is a normal guy whose only “superpower” is a load of courage.

            Arthur Poppington (Woody Harrelson) has severe psychological issues. He dresses up as a superhero of his own creation called Defendor. He does not fear what might happen to him he just wanders the streets at night looking for someone he calls Captain Industry. One night Defendor comes across a man and a young woman in a car. It appears to Defendor that the girl is in trouble. He fights the guy and somehow manages to chase him away with nothing more than a jar of wasps. The guy happens to be a cop named Chuck Dooney who is extremely corrupt. The young woman is named Kat (Kat Dennings) who is a hooker and a drug addict.

            Arthur was beat up pretty bad and his friend notices the next day at work and takes him to a hospital. Arthur has quite a few deep cuts, a missing tooth, and bruised ribs.

            Kat manages to find where Arthur lives and makes herself comfortable. She uses Arthur’s naivety to get money out of him by saying she knows where to find his Captain Industry. Kat gives him the name of her former drug dealer and pimp. She tells him where he can possibly locate the drug dealer in a secret location in the mountains. Arthur finds the place and goes up there a few times and video records certain events but nothing incriminating.

            While out on the streets again Defendor comes face to face with Dooney and other bad guys. Dooney is running with the drug dealer  and his crew for money and drugs. He and some men chase Defendor down an alley. One of the guys shoots Defendor. Luckily Defendor was only shot with a pellet gun that only bruised his ribs. He winds up in the hospital again. Defendor seems to be unconscious. Kat comes to visit him to tell him she will leave him alone now and also something about how her dad sexually abused her when she was little. When Kat leaves Defendor wakes up. The next thing he is at the mall where Kat’s father has a store and throws him all over the place.

            This action almost puts Arthur in jail and lands him in a psychiatrist’s office. He is not sent to prison but is placed in the custody of his friend from work. He is ordered not to dress up as Defendor. But of course Defendor is who Arthur is and he has a mission to take down his Captain Industry.

            I liked Defendor because it was different. Only the bad guy, Dooney, really treated Arthur like crap everyone else was sympathetic towards him. They knew he could not help doing what he was doing. In the end Defednor is the city hero everyone loves him because he did something while the cops stood by. Woody Harrelson was very good as Defendor. You really believed him as the character. Kat Dennings kind of plays the same sleazy characters over and over but I have to say I like the girl I like her take-no-shit attitude she always has. It almost seems like she does not take her roles seriously yet she is awesome. I watched the movie basically because I found out Tatiana Maslany was in it. The girl is literally in the movie for a minute and that is it. The movies I watch just for actors I like! I always love getting into actors and actresses and finding their filmography because you never know if you will wind up liking them. I am glad I found out about Defendor because it was an interesting story and it was different. It was cool to see a person actually being a superhero, even if he was mentally unstable. If you can find to watch Defendor definitely give it a try.