Rock of Ages (2012)

“This place is about to become a sea of sweat, ear-shattering music and puke.” 

            I am not sure how I feel about Rock of Ages. It was not bad but it was not like “wow that was awesome!”. I was not attracted to the all star cast or all the glittering sets and pictures I just wanted to hear the music and how everyone sounded on the songs. I was not disappointed with pretty much all the songs they were sung very well.

            The story is neither new nor creative. Sherrie (Julianne Hough) comes to Los Angeles in 1987 to try to become a singer from her small town in Oklahoma. Ho, hum bored with the plot already I know I was too. Sherrie gets mugged and a nice sweet boy named Drew (Diego Boneta) helps her. He works across the street at a famous bar called the Bourbon Room. A waitress has walked out and they are in need of a new one (oh movie luck). Drew begs his boss Dennis (Alec Baldwin) to hire Sherrie and, oh hey, she gets the job, big shock there.

            Everyone who works in the bar worships the singer Stacee Jaxx (Tom Cruise). He is a rock god with some of the biggest hits of the decade with his band Arsenal. Dennis is lucky enough to have Arsenal play their last gig at his place before Stacee goes solo. Meanwhile the new mayor of Los Angeles (Brian Cranston) wants to rid the strip of all the vice that lurks on the streets and get rid of the Bourbon Room and all with the help of his supposed bible banging wife Patricia (Catherine Zeta-Jones).

            So yeah it is the story of an aging rocker with some issues, a woman fighting against rock n’ roll when she was once its biggest groupies, the main guy and girl having a fall out because he thinks she screwed the rock star when she did not, an old rock club that might be shut down, and an oily manager who wants the money and does not care about music as art. Pretty much summed the movie up right here.

            Now I am going to get to what I really want to write about: the performances both acting and singing. Julianne Hough and Diego Boneta were alright. Hough’s singing voice was too high for me and I felt she ruined some of the songs she sang on. Boneta is handsome (I feel weird saying this since he is three years younger than me... whatever I would totally be a cougar with guy!) with a great singing voice but by the end of the movie he got on my nerves. Catherine Zeta-Jones and Mary J. Blige’s characters were completely pointless. THE BEST performances come from Tom Cruise, Malin Akerman, Alec Baldwin, and Russell Brand. First off, the best song and scene of the movie is when Cruise and Akerman sing “I Want to Know What Love Is.” Who knew Malin Akerman could sing?! I had no idea and she was awesome! The scene is hysterical and both actors sound fantastic on the song. Cruise was brilliant he completely made the entire movie. The role is so different for him but he just nailed it. And holy crap can the dude belt out those notes! Cruise hit notes that amazed me mostly because I could not believe he could sing. I have never been attracted to Tom Cruise whatsoever I can never see in him what other women see but here he is so HOT!! Alec Baldwin and Russell Brand were like a team. Brand was Baldwin’s right hand man. They were fantastic together. They have a scene that is so funny and so unexpected that you will be laughing so hard. Brand in his films is sometimes a bit too much but he gave a much underplayed performance that I really enjoyed him.

            With the typical dull plot with a happy go lucky ending the music is able to keep your attention. You know all the songs already (hopefully you do if you don’t you need some help). Before the singing even started I heard the beat to some of the songs and my feet were moving right along with it. It was awesome to hear “Shadows of the Night” by Pat Benatar near the end that is one of my favorite songs by her. There is music by Foreigner, Journey, Joan Jett, Poison, Bon Jovi, and a bunch more good bands and singers from the 80s.

            Rock of Ages is a simple movie that attracts audiences of all kinds. It is glittery and fun but it feels more like pop-fluff than hard rock, it is cute and fluffy trying to make out all the characters are so into rock n’ roll. The only characters that looked like they listened to rock and were rough around the edges were Stacee Jaxx (obviously), Dennis, and Lonny (Russell Brand). But besides this if you can get past the predictable story and Julianne Hough’s singing you will have a good time watching Rock of Ages.  

Arthur (2011)



“You're running from yourself Arthur.”

“I wish I was, because I'd let me get away.”

            I have never seen the original Arthur. I think I tried sitting through it once when I was younger and I just remember thinking the guy was an idiot and that I could barely understand him. I do plan to eventually watch the original movie but for now I have seen the remake/reboot.

            For those of you who do not know the story of Arthur it is about a man who is a billionaire and he is drunk who enjoys his life to the fullest. This version has the same concept but of course it is modernized. Arthur (Russell Brand) is a young thirty year old also with an alcohol problem. His mother runs a major corporation which makes them billionaires. Arthur runs around New York City doing anything he pleases. The cops all know his name since he is always in trouble. He sleeps with whomever he wants because of his money.

            Arthur’s mother has had enough of him embarrassing her and the company. She gives him an ultimatum to marry a young business girl who she works with named Susan (Jennifer Garner) or lose all his money and he has to get himself a job and make his own money. Susan is an overly ambitious person who only wants to marry Arthur so that she can run the company someday. She and Arthur dated once and she holds a grudge that he dumped her. Well to be fair the woman is nuts and she is also used to getting what she wants.

            Unfortunately for Arthur he has met a girl he actually really cares for. He meets Naomi (Greta Gerwig) as she is giving an illegal tour of Grand Central. He likes her sweetness and her frankness. His mother does not want to hear any of it and neither does his nanny Hobson (Helen Mirren). There is nothing wrong with Naomi it is just that she comes from a blue collar family from Queens and she just gets by money wise.

            I am sure you can guess who Arthur ends up with and that he also goes through something life changing and profound which makes him want to clean up his act.

            The only reason I even sat through Arthur (as well as buy it) was for Jennifer Garner. I am a HUGE fan of hers. I was really happy to see her in something she has not been in a movie for a while. I thought she was fantastic playing Susan who was such a bitch! I always find Garner to be awesome in anything she is because she is so versatile. Russell Brand I can live without. If was not for the fact that Jennifer Garner was in the movie I never would have sat through it. Brand to me is not a good actor and after a while he gets on my nerves. Helen Mirren was wonderful as Hobson. Her British-ness was such a great touch to a very British nanny. Greta Gerwig I had never seen in a movie before and she was adorable and a good actress. It kind of feels like she is out to be the next Zooey Deschanel, there are some scenes where it looked like she was trying to be the other actress (which will never happen because ZD is too awesome for words).  

            Arthur is a cute movie. Despite the fact that Russell Brand was playing the title character I found him to be perfect and I really liked the cast. Give Arthur a try it has some very funny scenes and lines. Now I really want to sit through the original more to see how much funnier it is compared to this one.

Get Him to the Greek



“When the world slips you a Jeffrey, stroke the furry wall.”

            Let me just start off by saying I had no desire to ever sit through Get Him to the Greek. First of all there was no actor/actress in it that would make me want to sit through it and second from the trailer it looked like it was too much of a dude movie for me.  But alas I sat through it when my brother was flipping through the channels and found the movie on HBO. My brother is obsessed with Get Him to the Greek I remember when he saw this in theaters he came home laughing just thinking about it. When it came out on Blu Ray he went to just about every store looking for it.

            The movie is based off the character of Aldous Snow as first seen in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. If you have not seen Forgetting Sarah Marshall Aldous Snow was the rock star Sarah Marshall dates. The character was brought into Get Him to the Greek. Aldous is not the rock star he was after the release of his album African Child bombed horribly. His life has been a mess since then he relapsed back to drugs and alcohol after he was clean for seven years and broke up with his long time girlfriend singer Jackie Q.

            Aaron Green works for a record company and is a huge fan of Aldous Snow and his band Infant Sorrow. He suggests to his boss Sergio during a meeting that they should try to get Aldous Snow and Infant Sorrow to do a ten year anniversary concert of when they performed at the Greek Theater. Sergio likes the idea, books the theater, and gets Aldous to do the show. He places Aaron in charge of bringing Aldous to L.A.

            Aaron bringing Aldous to L.A. should not be a big deal all he has to do is just escort Aldous around, get him on the plane from London to New York City for a performance on the Today Show then after the performance they have to fly to L.A. for the concert. That does not sound so hard does it? Well for Aaron he learns that traveling with Aldous is seriously a non-stop party that continues heavily 24/7.

            All I can say about the middle of the movie is OH MY GOD!!!! Seriously I do not even know how many times I said “oh my God” and palmed my forehead. I do not even want to write one thing that happened because you really just have to see all the shenanigans for yourself.

            Every one the actors were really good. Russell Brand is a weird combination of smooth and psychotic and just perfect with his comedy.  Jonah Hill to me is not that great I cannot stand looking at him he just annoys me. I tolerated him because he was the main character besides Brand. Rose Byrne as Jackie Q was great the more I see of her the more amazed I am at how good she is at comedy. She and Brand looked good together. Diddy played Sergio and he was the funniest most outrageous character of the whole movie. He was insane and I mean that literally. There are so many actors and actresses that when you see you will know who they and either start laughing or go “I will never look at them the same way again.”

            There is a soundtrack. The songs are really funny. I found Rose Byrne’s song “Ring ‘Round” the funniest just because I could not see her being so dirty. “The Clap” is another funny song.

            I will not say Get Him to the Greek is one of the funniest movie ever made but that is my opinion. I am sure if you ask any male they will say they loved it and it is one of their favorite movies ever. Check out Get Him to the Greek if you can stand very crude and very silly humor.