Magic in the Moonlight (2014)

“All my optimism was an illusion.”

            We all want to believe there is a force greater than us guiding out destiny. We want to believe this guiding force is leading us to bigger things in life that will make us happy. I feel that this belief is what gets us through the day. I am a very broke post-grad who is working a part time job in a library. But I believe my guiding force (and other forces) will lead me to a better job one I can use my degree for and have me do fun things in life I have never done before. Some people in this world, however, are skeptical. They need to see it to believe it. With some of these skeptical people they can only see the rational. Anything that may need to be based on a faith or a guiding force they cannot see they immediately reject everything. Magic in the Moonlight takes a skeptic, makes him believe in an idea that is beyond reasoning and rational, and becomes happier person.

            Stanley (Colin Firth) is a magician who pretends to be a person from the Far East called Wei Ling Soo for his performances. He is very well known for his tricks and performances around the world. One night after a show his friend Howard comes to see him. He tells Stanley there is a family in the south of France that has become enthralled with a young American girl named Sophie Baker (Emma Baker) who claims to be a medium of sorts. This family is obsessed with her except for the older brother and sister who thing Sophie is a charlatan. Stanley has called fakes out before and gladly accepts the offer.

            Honestly, I do not even feel like writing out too much more of the story. The rest of the story is typical: Stanley starts spending time with Sophie, Sophie starts to like Stanley but he does not even notice because he is too wrapped up in himself, Stanley believes Sophie to be a real medium when he feels he cannot prove how she has her visions, then he figures her out, and then he falls in love with her. That counts as boring in my book.

            I absolutely adored Emma Stone in this. She definitely did not fit the 1920s time period, she is way too modern, but she was just really good. She did, however, fit very well in a Woody Allen movie. Colin Firth was good too but his character was so damn annoying. It was Woody Allen being played by another actor. Stanley was an annoying, self-absorbed man who kept telling everyone he was a genius and was neurotic with a lot of things. The two actors had absolutely no chemistry which made the ending of them falling in love not that great. I just could not believe them loving each other. It was not the age difference even though that was a bit weird that did make me believe their characters love for each other. I think it was the actors and their style of acting. As I said, Stone is a very modern actress. She is lose and has a big presence. Firth to me is still a good actor but he is getting to be like a curmudgeonly English man. I am sure that comes down the characters he has been playing lately as well. Ah, wait I know what it really was that was bothering me with the characters falling in love; they were totally opposite each other. Sophie was free spirited (no pun intended… or was it?) and Stanley was totally stiff and not relaxed.

            Magic in the Moonlight I felt was a letdown. I really, really wanted to like it but I just could not. I liked how it was set in 1920s France but I felt that it could have been set in any time period. I would guess the setting made things feel a bit more laid back and romantic but not that much. Magic in the Moonlight was not that great but it was not terrible. I will not say to not watch it, it is worth watching at least once.

 

Only God Forgives (2013)

“It's a little more complicated than that, mother.”

“Meaning what, exactly?”

            Have you ever watched a movie and the whole time you are going “da fuck is this?” Sometimes “da fuck” can mean “this is insane!” or “seriously did that just happen”. Just think about all the times you have said that to yourself while watching a movie and what it meant for you. Then there are times where the “da fuck” is literally asking/saying “what the hell is happening I am so confused.” Only God Forgive was one of those movies where I thought I had a grip on the story and then something would happen and I would just say that wonderful phrase.

            This is what I was able to take away from the movie:

-          Ryan Goslin plays a guy named Julian. Julian and his brother Billy live in Bangkok.

-          Billy is sleaze and wants to have sex with an under aged girl. He convinces the owner of a strip club to let him have sex with his daughter. Billy gets a little nuts and he kills the girl. The owner then in turn kills Billy.

-          A former cop is not so much upset with the owner killing Billy than he is with the owner allowing the asshole to have sex with his teenage daughter. The cop takes his sword and chops the owner’s hand off.

-          Julian and some of his friends seek revenge at first. When Julian hears why his brother was killed he lets the owner go because his brother was a terrible human being.

-          Julian’s mother comes into town and she is batshit crazy and domineering. She is a drug lord of kind and has people all over the place that are willing to do anything she wants them to. She is pissed off at Julian for not killing the strip club owner so she sends some of her men after him and the cop as well once she finds out he was involved somehow.

-          The hit on the cop does not go over too well and the cop goes on his own killing spree with his trusty sword.

            So there is my quick rundown of Only God Forgives because it was just confusing as all hell. Literally almost every scene I was like “da fuck?”  

            Visually the movie was very good. The colors were a mix of dark and earth tones and neon colors. They were all unsettling and menacing together and that really added to the story. All the character are wacked out and menacing.

            What I was able to understand of the scenes where we see the thought process and actual thoughts of the characters was really interesting. It was like a seeing a surrealist painting or story come to life. Not surprising on that since the surrealists were all about dreams and psychology.

            Only God Forgives was not a terrible movie. I only recommend the movie to those who are really into movies. Obviously, the story is a bit confusing and if you are not into visuals and really having to pay attention or think about what is happening on screen you will be bored out of your misery.

 

Only Lovers Left Alive (2013)

“How can you've live for so long and still not get it? This self obsession is a waste of living.”

          Imagine being able to live forever. Think about all the things in the world you can accomplish like perfecting playing all the instruments you can want, learning all the languages of the world, getting to read thousands of books, and so on. Yet, think about how lonely you might get after a while and how depressing the world gets to be. You have seen decades, hundreds of years go by and humanity only changing for the worse. Your faith in the world and humans is just completely crippled. Only Lovers Left Alive somewhat explores this idea with their two vampire characters Adam and Eve.

          Adam (Tom Hiddleston) and Eve (Tilda Swinton) are vampires living in different countries. They have been married for hundreds of years. Adam has been depressed. He has had it with humans. Adding to his depression is living in Detroit in an old house with no one else around. He has a guy named Ian (Anton Yelchin) who comes over to his place and sells him vintage guitars. Adam records music and has Ian release it. His house is an analogue world with old recording equipment and records.

          Eve is in Tangiers. She calls Adam one night. They video message each other and Eve notices he looks depressed. She decides to come out and visit him. Their time together is peaceful and quiet. He takes her for drives around the desolate city. They listen to music and talk about some things they have been through during their centuries together.

          Out of the blue Eve’s young sister Ava (Mia Wasikowska) comes into town. Adam has no patience for her. She is the definition of a wild child with no thought for others. She makes Eve and Adam take her out along with Ian. The night does not end well. Adam literally throws Ava out of his house. The couple has to leave for Tangiers after that night.

         Only Lovers Left Alive is the kind of movie that does not really have a plot and it moves very slowly. When movies are like this I generally do not like them but with Only Lovers Left Alive I liked it. I think I liked it because Tom Hiddleston and Tilda Swinton were very good together. I have not really seen Swinton in very much I did not realize how good of an actress she is. I really liked Eve and her whole demeanor she was carefree because she has seen it all. Tom Hiddleston brooding was beautiful. Even though Only Lovers Left Alive was slow and really did not have too much of a plot as far as I could tell, I enjoyed it. It was different and it was definitely not your typical vampire movie. They did not constantly talk about the centuries they have been alive for and all the things they have done. Their past was mentioned briefly because they both lived through it together it mentioned in normal conversation. Also the whole vampire thing was not thrown in your face either. you knew they were vampires because they went to sleep during the day and got a supply of blood but that was never made to be a big deal until Ava came around. Only Lovers Left Alive is worth seeing because it is different and for the pairing of Tilda Swinton and Tom Hilddleston. 

Draft Day (2014)

“How is it that the ultimate prize in the most macho sport ever invented is a piece of jewelry?”

            Ugh, football. American football if there are any Brits/Europeans reading this. Why the hell does American call the game “football”? The only time a foot touches the ball is when a field goal needs to be kicked. Ass backwards we are I swear. Football is boring **dodging flying objects and jeers**. I guess I find it boring because neither the Giants nor the Chief can ever do anything exciting! (Yep, those are my teams. I live in Jersey so, Giants, naturally. Where the Chiefs came from ask my dad). Sports just do not excite me, well, maybe watching British football does. I love the BPL.

            I am sure you are now asking yourself why on earth I even watched Draft Day if football drives me nuts and bores me. Jennifer Garner is my hero and being the nice fan that I am I had to see her no matter how long her screen time was.

            So basically the plot is the General Manager of the Cleveland Browns, Sonny Weaver Jr. (Kevin Costner), is looking for the best pick in the NFL Draft for 2014. For those of you that do not know the NFL Draft is like a big deal. The picks could make or break a team. The worst team in the league the year before gets to pick the first overall draft which is usually the best player to come out of college football.

            Sonny is under a lot of pressure from the entire Browns franchise, the team’s coach, the fans, the players, and other GMs from other teams. It is like one big pissing match for a day trying to get the top pick and trade players. It is a business not a game. The owner of the team wants Sonny to pick this kid Bo Callahan who won the Heisman Trophy but Sonny is not so sure about his character and how he would fit in with the team. Plus, his quarterback Drew Bell (the ever super gorgeous Tom Welling) has come back from an injury the following year stronger than ever and if Callahan were to come in Drew would be replaced. Sonny has his eye on this kid whose father played for the Browns and is considered a team legend.

            So, happy ending, Sonny trades with a few different teams for the kid and another player instead of taking Bo Callahan. And he tells his mother that he and his not-so-secret girlfriend Ali (Garner) are going to have baby together.

            The cast was pretty good. Jennifer Garner was not in it too much. She was used more as the person who moves the main character along. Ali really had no function other than being eye candy. Anyone could have played this role. Dear god I feel terrible saying that because I love Jennifer Garner so much and she is so much more than a second string kind of actress but it is true. She did look totally beautiful though. Kevin Costner was good. I really do not have an opinion on him I have not seen him in much. Other actors star in the movie and pop up such as Denis Leary, Frank Langella, Terry Crews, Hellen Burstyn, Rosanna Arquette (for literally like two seconds), and P.Diddy.

            Draft Day was such a bore. Jennifer Garner and her very few scenes and one dimensional character were the saving grace for me. The movie itself was not bad and the acting was good but I just cannot stand football talk. It always makes me sad how much of a business the sports world has become. Like, yeah, the teams want the best players, but to me the players are bought, sold, and traded like cattle. It is like they are not even human. Draft Day is not a movie I would highly suggest seeing unless you really like football. Or love Jennifer Garner like I do. 

Camp Takota (2014)

“I just want to be me. But like a happy version.”

            I never went to a summer camp when I was younger. I think I went to day camps that last for like two weeks and I think I hated them. Me and the outdoors never got along I never would have done well in a three month long summer camp. Ugh, just thinking of staying out in the wilderness for more than a day creeps me out! (If this information surprises you, then you obviously have not looked at how many posts I have on this blog. Do I seem like an outdoor girl to you?) Naturally (no pun intended… or maybe it was), I am not a fan of summer camp movies. They are usually sentimental and sappy, all about growing up, becoming someone, first loves, jokes, and cracks on the food in the mess hall. I wind up running when I see a movie based around a summer camp, unless it is Wet Hot American Summer which is one of the greatest comedy movies ever made. So, why if I steer clear of summer camp movies would I even bother watching Camp Takota? For the three fabulous ladies who star in it, of course.

            Elise Miller (Grace Helbig) was content with her life. She just moved in with her fiancé to whom she was going to marry in two weeks. She had a good job at a publishing firm. And she had just finished writing a Young Adult novel she had been working on for a few years. On her way to work that morning Elise runs into an old camp director she knew as a kid when she went to Camp Takota. The director invites her to come back and work at the camp but Elise just sees it as a joke and says no thanks.

            At work her day goes down the dumps. Her boss is a bitch on wheels who has nothing but negative things to say to Elise as soon as she walks in the door. Elise overhears that there is an opening for a book release in the company in a few months and tells her boss about her book. The boss is not amused by the thought of even looking at Elise’s book but agrees to just because there is an opening. The boss then tells Elise she wants her to take pictures of a meeting between a very popular Young Adult author and his fans on top of doing two other things at the same time.

            Sometime after the meeting, Elise and one of her coworkers are walking down a hallway. They see the author and the boss furiously making out in the stair well. The coworker takes pictures. Unfortunately, Elise is the one who gets the backlash when she somehow mistakenly puts the photos on the company’s Facebook page. Fired and distraught, Elise heads back to her apartment. Her fiancé is home and walking around in just his underwear. He tries to get her to go down to the local bar so they can talk but Elise notices that he had two glasses in his hand. Before she can even turn around the other woman comes walking in from the bedroom. Elise grabs a bottle of vodka and heads to her old apartment.

            In a drunken stupor, Elise calls the camp director several times leaving messages that she has decided to work at the camp over the summer. She eventually passes out on the couch and wakes up to a horn blasting. She listens to her messages and one of them is from the director saying a family who lives in town is willing to pick her up and drive her to the camp. Elise gathers up whatever clothes are in her reach and throws them into shopping and garbage bags. When Elise gets outside the mother looks like she is from one of the Real Housewives shows, the father is a pushover, and the daughter is small and quiet.

            Once at the camp, Elise is greeted by two of her old camp buddies, Maxine (Mamrie Hart) and Allison (Hannah Hart). The three of them have not seen each other in eight years since they were last in camp but they talk to each other as if it had only been a few days.

            For the first few weeks, Elise is miserable and depressed. She has no cell phone service, some of the girls get on her nerves to no end, she is woken up every day by a blaring horn, and to make matters extremely worse she winds up getting poison ivy in the worst place imaginable. Elise eventually comes out of her mood the more she hangs out with Maxine and Allison. While drinking one night, a local farmer, Eli, who supplies food to the camp comes by the cabin. Elise almost stabs him with a broken beer bottle in her drunken stupor. The next morning he comes to get her up to get ready for the day. They talk with some flirting thrown in.

 

            Elise gets a call one day from her former boss. The photos have been a huge hit on the internet and the book sales for the author have skyrocketed. The boss wants the former employee back with the added bonus that she will publish Elise’s book. This stirs things up for Elise and she decides to go back. This news and decision could not come at a worse time for the camp. Maxine is desperate to be the camp director the following year but in order for that to happen the camp needs more campers or it will have to be sold. Maxine gets pissed and to get back at her Elise says that Allison wants to leave but is afraid since she (Maxine) scares people.

            To round up this story, Elise comes back, the camp is saved, she winds up with Eli, and her book about a girl at a summer camp becomes a success.

            I had never heard of Hannah Hart, Grace Helbig, or Mamrie Hart until two weeks ago. A few people I follow on Tumblr had been posting all sorts of things about the three of them. I got curious because some of the things in the posts looked hilarious. All three ladies are Internet famous for their videos on Youtube so I watched a few and all three of them are beyond entertaining and hilarious. I went on Netflix the other day and found out they made a movie together so I saved it. Finally got to watch it tonight (as part of a celebration marathon of me completing my grad school thesis and thus finally ending my school career) and I loved them and the movie. I was expecting Helbig and the two Harts to be extremely silly and out of control and not that great at acting. They were all surprisingly really, really good I was totally not expecting their acting to be so good. Helbig was incredible with all the drama she had to bring. Mamrie Hart is a damn panic she is such a goof. Hannah Hart is adorable. She can be silly like her two friends but she is more subtle. Their drunk dancing scene was so damn funny. I gotta say, Helbig and the two Harts are some of the funniest, coolest women around today. Just from this movie and some of their videos you can see there is no bullshit with them. They do what they do because they have fun doing it and do not care what people think of them. All of that comes out in so many of their scenes in the movie. I am looking forward to watching more of Grace Helbig, Hannah Hart, Mamrie Hart’s videos, especially after watching them here.

            Camp Takota, even though it is predictable and not very original story wise, is very entertaining. So many scenes and lines had me laughing. Let me just say that I will now laugh whenever I see fiber cereal and will want a bottle of wine. Camp Takota is now available to watch on Netflix and I highly suggest watching it.