Thursday, September 10, 2015

Mortdecai (2015)


“As you may well know, I am many things. An arts dealer, an accomplished fencer, fair shot with most weapons. I am loved and respected by all who know me - slightly.” 

            Well, I must say that I do not hate to be the one to tell Mortdecai that I do not respect him or the movie even remotely slightly. I did not like Mortdecai to the point where I am not even going to bother to try to write a summary because I have no damn clue what happened nor do I even care.
            All I know is that the story had something to do with a rare lost Goya painting that was stolen and that Charlie Mortdecai (Johnny Depp) is an fraud and deals with stolen art himself but he is used as an informant and helps with certain police cases concerning art.
            Why did I sit through this shit hole of movie, you may be asking yourself. I am a sucker for any story that has to do with stolen art. I have a BA degree in Art History and a MA in Museum Registration. I would hopefully one day like to become some kind of specialist who deals with stolen art and theft prevention. As soon as I saw that Mortdecai had something to do with stolen art I had to see it. Of course I knew it was bad it was barely in theaters when it was released a few months ago but I did not know how bad it truly was.
            Usually even if a movie is bad I can find at least one or two redeeming qualities about it. With Mortdecai I found none. It was that bad. The characters sucked and the jokes were terrible. The worst is that it tried way too hard to be quirky and funny and it completely over shot the mark.
            Leave Mortdecai where it belongs… in the shitter.
 Image result for mortdecai 2015