“An hour-and-a-half have passed and I still don’t have a husband.”
What
is it about women and wanting to desperately get married? Not all women are
like that I know, I know, because I am definitely not one of those women. I would
be perfectly fine with being a spinster living by myself for the rest of my
life (such a happy cheerful person I am. Be my friend!). Maybe because I would
not mind living out my days as a lonely old spinster I do not understand why
some women are desperate to get married. Honestly planning a wedding would be
my worst nightmare ever while someone women have been dreaming about their big
day literally their whole lives.
While
I do not understand the appeal of desperately wanting to be married to do understand
that decades and decades ago, let’s say in the early 1900s women were desperate
(or needed to because of evil society) to get married because of possibly money
and possibly for some sort of stability. Of course love could be involved in
their desperation. And, if any silent films or films from the 1920s-1950s are
to be believed, men were sometimes just as desperate to marry the girl of their
dreams. Most of the films that have been made where marriage is the concern
involves a woman. The silent film The Oyster Princess has that kind of plot but
with a very funny and very silly twist.
Ossi
Quaker is a spoiled rich girl. Her father is known as the Oyster King. He has
literally hundreds of servants under his employ at his beck and call. One day
while Quaker is dictating a letter a servant comes into the room proclaiming
that Ossi is having a fit throwing newspapers all over her room in rage. Quaker
finds out that his daughter is upset because another rich girl she knows has
married a count. To combat this issue Ossi goes to a matchmaker to try to get a
husband. The matchmaker decides to give Ossi to Prince Nucki. Nucki is in heavy
amount of debt and does not really want to get married.
The
matchmaker goes to Nucki’s house to tell him about the match. Nucki sends his
friend Josef to take a look at Ossi. Ossi in the meantime has been going crazy.
She complains to her father that it has been a half hour and she is still
waiting for her husband to come. She goes into a fit again with throwing
things. Josef eventually shows up. The butlers and servants in the house bow to
him. One of the servants asks for his card and since the jacket belongs to
Nucki Josef gives the servant Nucki’s card. Ossi is beyond excited when she
sees the card says Prince Nucki on it. She is not impressed when she sees
Josef, she thinks he looks stupid but in her complete and utter desperation to
get married she rushes Josef off to get married in a hurry. Quaker gives his
daughter a “small” wedding party with a few close family and friends. Their house
is totally filled with people.
Nucki
has gone out on quite a bender. He is drunk and brought to a place to sober up.
Ossi happens to be there taking care of some other drunks with a group of her
friends who are against drunks. All the women are immediately taken with Nucki.
Ossi winds up the lucky girl and she and Nucki fall in love. They are soon both
upset that they cannot marry each other since she has married Josef. Josef
comes through though. He tells them both that he put Nucki’s name down on the
registration.
The Oyster Princess was really funny. I
would love to see this on a big screen somewhere to hear what parts people
laugh at. The film was directed by Ernst Lubitsch who would become known for
some of the greatest comedy films in the 1930s and 1940s. His direction with
the story was perfect. I know I went on a rant with how I do not like stories
that have to deal with women and even men desperately wanting to get married
but The Oyster Princess was actually
enjoyable because it was so silly and so outrageous. I wish films with this
type of story were made today. If you like Ernst Lubitsch and like silent films
I definitely suggest watching The Oyster
Princess. It is currently available to view in full on YouTube.
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